The gospel of forgiveness

 What is forgiveness? Is it simply saying "I'm sorry" and moving on? How do we go about not only seeking but  also giving forgiveness? Alcoholics Anonymous has a list of 12 steps towards forgiveness. People pay therapists  thousands of dollars to try to learn how to forgive. God created the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous and God created therapists. In other words,  God is not the only means available to us to receive or grant forgiveness. However, we cannot grant  true forgiveness  on our own. In order to forgive we must "let  go and let God." This is not always easy for us to do, because very often, we are raised  to believe that we are in control.  We are taught to be responsible for our own actions and that if we ask for help we are selling ourselves short. Letting go is the root of Christian fellowship and forgiveness.  To be able to grant true forgiveness all we can do is turn to God and build a relationship with God in order that we might forgive others. Forgiveness means letting go of all hope for a better past.  We cannot change the past the only thing we can do is except whatever happened in the past and then hand it over to God.
  What about receiving forgiveness?   The route of Satan, evil and sin is the voice  inside of you telling you that you are not God's beloved child and therefore you cannot be forgiven. However,  The parable of the prodigal son teaches us of God's unconditional love for us. How often do we forget to ask  for God's grace? How often are we like the older son in the parable, stubbornly refusing to forgive? Several of us during the Wednesday soup and  discussion  found ourselves rather uncomfortably relating to the older brother in the story.   We don't know if the brothers in the story learned anything. It ends with the father and the older son still outside discussing the prodigal son's   return.  Just as we don't know when ask forgiveness of others whether or not it will be granted to us.  Why is it then  that when we seek forgiveness of others we forget to ask for God's grace? Unconditional forgiveness is the scandal of Christianity.

I am who I am

In the Old Testament story of Moses and the Burning Bush, Moses asks "Who are you?" God answers "I am who I am." In other words don't define me. God doesn't change but our perception of God changes throughout history and even throughout our lives. We have the perception of God from the Book of Genesis. In the Garden of Eden God is the stern parent reproaching his children Adam and Eve for disobeying his laws. There is the perception of God from the Book of Exodus as the teacher outlining for Moses the Ten Commandments. The second of those commandments being “You shall have no other gods before Me." There's only one God and that God loves us. So even though our perceptions of God change God's self doesn't change. 
We have to realize that all decisions we make come from God, As humans however, luck plays an important role in our lives. We question "Was is bad luck for the money changers in the temple the day Jesus decided to overturn their tables and disrupt business?" "Why was it this criminal got Pilot's attention?" "Why does this person have cancer?" Whether we are lucky or unlucky, human beings have a debilitating tendency to push God away. When we do this we are sinning. Sin is pushing God away. 
During this time of Lent we try to unpack our laziness and self obsession. We try to get away from trying to define who we are. We spend so much time asking "Who am I?" and then defining ourselves by what we do "Spouse, parent, what we do for a living" and never get past the resume stage. God says "I am who I am." Our jobs during Lent are to sacrifice and be loyal. To do this we must submit to God (listen to what God is saying to us) and try to answer the presence of God. 
Our Wednesday discussion group tried to unpack our laziness and self obsession in two ways. The first was to list things for the week or the day that we ought to have done and then list things we ought not to have done and one thing we were glad we did today. Then we took a list of the ten commandments and next to them list which of them we haven't followed. As Father Malcom said we may not have literally killed someone this week but maybe we killed someone's spirit. The idea was to move from the intellectual to the spiritual then we took our lists and shredded them. It was interesting because I had just gotten done burning old receipts and bills from previous year's taxes with a little sage. The idea is the same whether you're shredding, burning or simply tearing up. You are taking all of that stuff and releasing it up to God. I find when I let go and release that it's easier to submit to God and to try to answer the presence of God because I have literally made more room for God to come into my life. 
So I encourage you to stop asking for a while "Who am I?" and simply state "I am who I am" and accept that whoever you are and whatever perception you have of God, God loves you.

The Devil Inside Me

 The Devil does exist. As Father Malcom Manson our interim Rector said the devil does exist "Whether we believe in a creature with horns and a tail or whether we can be grateful to Star Wars for the idea of the Dark Side." As songwriters Cory Mayon, Andrew Rollins and Jaida Dreyer wrote in the song "This Town" as performed by Clare Bowen and Charles Easton from the cast of the TV show Nashville "I've seen the devil inside me /But I won't let him guide me/Or take my wings." It was this idea of what medical intuitive Carolyn Myss refers to as the inner saboteur that we continued to explore at our weekly Wednesday Soup and Discussion. We explored three different types of power, including but not limited to: Personal power and political power.

Father Malcom posed this question for personal power: "Are we responsible for unintended consequences?" The idea was that if we use our personal power for our own benefit it's sometimes hard to tell what the motivations are behind it. For example, with the creation of vaccines the debate continues whether or not drug companies created them strictly for profit. Was there a force of evil behind the profit of the drug companies? 

Personal power can be a tricky thing especially when one is seeking political power as with the upcoming election. Father Malcom asked "Where is God in the Political Process?" A question I have seen in one form or another posed frequently on social media. We frequently find ourselves questioning whether or not these candidates are working for the good or whether they are seeking to serve self rather than to serve others, in this case the people of the United States. We discussed the dysfuctional relationship we have with God in this country where we're only allowed to talk about God is on our money. We further discussed that our system of government teeters back and forth between "separation of church and state" versus "IN God we trust" as printed on our money. As Father Malcom pointed out however, there have been corrupt systems of government over the years which have produced some great leaders. 

Finally we discussed what I'll refer to as "The power of prayer." Again a question was asked of us, this time "How does God appear?" We came up with a list: moral compass, conscience, personal power, personal responsibility, good versus evil finally concluding that "Language s insufficient to develop conscience therefor it must be done through prayer." We were reminded (because after all we are a church group) of the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’ 13 And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” 

Finally I leave you with two questions to ponder which we were asked to ponder for ourselves: 1) How do we take a s tate of grace with us out into the world? and 2) If you were "accused" of being a Christian would you be convicted? 

Ash Wednesday

"Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return." These words are spoken by Father Malcom as he makes the sign of the cross in ashes upon my forehead at the Ash Wednesday Service at St Stephens Episcopal church in Belvedere California. Today, millions of Christians hear these same words being said to them as they too, receive the Ashes. As I received the ashes, I thought of another phrase in the Common Book of Prayer which also mentions ashes, Ashes "Ashes to Ashes, Dust to dust." I sat in meditation post communion and thought of the ashes on my forehead representing my heavenly father and the literal ashes of my deceased mother in the bracelet upon my wrist. Most people dont' give notice to the bracelet and fewer still understand the significance. I was surprised last June at a concert when I was backstage and one of the ladies at the merchandise table said she liked my bracelet and asked whose ashes it was. She then showed me hers for I believe it was her father and mine for my mom. Few people too, unless they attend church realize the significance of Ash Wednesday or the season of Lent. People hear the word "Lent" and think of what people are "giving up" for Lent (i.e. chocolate, swearing, alcohol etc) or of the extreme fasting as exemplified by Alfred Molina's character in the movie Chocolate.

For this Lenten season Father Malcom challenged us with thinking about and doing the following every day for the 40 days of Lent:

Fasting: He clarified saying for example that usually for lunch on certain days he gets two chocolates which are supposed to last the entire afternoon but never do so today for his "fasting" no chocolate. Tomorrow it may be something different.
Prayer: In what way are you going to pray today?
Reading: What reading are you going to do today (not work related but spiritual or religious)
Good Works: As the sign on the Seagate properties says this month "Be a rainbow in someone else's cloud." One person tonight pointed out that we don't always know how even a conversation with a person in a grocery store might make someone's day. Sometimes we don't choose our good works, sometimes God chooses them for us.

So I present this challenge to you: take a blank calendar for the months of February and March and write down these headings and fill them in for the following day:
Fasting:
Prayer:
Reading:
Good Works:

We take challenges every day on social media, fun games that predict how we'll look when we're 80 or a 10 things you didn't know about me. So this is a new challenge.